Judging from the Live in Phoenix album, Fall Out Boy is the worst live band ever. Great albums… horrible live.

Bonus… also contains the worst cover of Beat It ever put to tape.

I’ve been writing a “what I’ve learned” birthday post for the last two weeks. For some reason, I can’t get it out… I know what to say, but I have, for the first time in my life, writer’s block.  So, instead of writing it all at once, I think I’ll write it a little at a time.

What I’ve learned in 32 years on Earth:

1. Never trust a woman with a neck tattoo.
2.  Never gamble more than you can afford to lose.
3. Speaking of gambling, never gamble against a person named after a city.
4. Judge a man by his haircut and a woman by her shoes.

These Trucks are full of Tubes which are full of In-for-ma-tion. Everybody Sing!!— Andra Whitt, in a fit of brilliance, describing the World Wide Web, just like Senator Ted Stevens .

In this case, the left hand knows exactly what the right hand is doing: they’re both giving you the finger.

— Mark Pilgrim on Owning the Music You Purchase

Dentists Really are the Worst Sort of People

Yesterday I took a few hours off of work to go to the dentist. If ever there was a rock and a hard place, that is it.

Mr. Hamrick, which would you rather do… stay in the office and be bombarded by endless crazy or go to the dentist and be bombarded by your own dental list of failures? Well, how about I lay down on the ground and you kick me the head repeatedly while I try to decide.

Anyway, I did it. The dentist. And though I have no cavities or other issues, she still gave me a prescription for a special mouthwash. Is that not the saddest thing you have ever heard? A 30-year old man with Prescription Mouthwash. I went out and bought a sliderule and a pocket protector just to complete the ensemble.

Andie and I went out to the hinterlands of Springfield, VA for a wedding of her friend. Pretty standard stuff, really… she said, he said, they swapped rings, cue the bagpipes, walk it out!And then there was the reception, wherein we were all received. The guests entered and were seated, and then the doors closed. A few minutes later, the doors to the reception hall swung open, and Black Sabbath’s Iron Man started blaring through the public address system. The DJ screamed, “Ladies and Gentlemen, get up out your seats and put your hands together for Mr. and Mrs. Clint Blankenship!”Apparently, Clint is a huge wrestling fan.  Anyway, during dinner, the people at my table started playing a little game… name songs that would be the worst possible first wedding songs. Here is a partial list:

• Garth Brooks - Thunder Rolls
• The Police - Don’t Stand So Close to Me
• Kanye West - Gold Digger
• Holly and the Italians - Tell That Girl to Shut Up
• Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone
• The Police - Wrapped Around My Finger
• Garbage - Stupid Girl

Accelerate Day!

REM’s new album, Accelerate, was released today, and it is awesome. Go and buy the Special Edition CD+DVD! Hooray!

Of course, that dirty little trickster Karma conspired against me again today. REM played at Rockefeller Plaza this morning, a short cab ride from my hotel. And where was I, stuck in a meeting! Blast and Double Blast!

Jesus! I have horrible luck. I got into New York last night for two days of meetings, and had a fairly successful day today. Unfortunately, I got sick this evening, so instead of having an awesome night in The City checking out a cool local band or maybe doing something tourist-y… here I am, stuck in a hotel room next to a  24 hour construction site, occasionally Pushing The Big Reset Button, and trying to watch  a rerun of NCIS.

I have horrible karma.

On April 1, REM is set to release Accelerate, its first album since 2004’s Around the Sun, and the first single off of Supernatural Superserious, is awesome. Music critics from Spin, Paste, and many others are hailing the album as a return to form, and the strongest album since 2001’s Reveal.

The story on REM over the past view years is that they had lost their way, and were now no more than a nostalgia act. While I agree that Around the Sun was a stylistic and musical mess, Reveal was one of the best albums of 2001, and would have been hailed as such if any other band had released it.

With this new album, it seems as if they have returned to form, and I am eagerly awaiting its release; something I haven’t done in a very long time.

Saw this on the nets. This is the cost of a guy in Homewood Alabama to fill up his Hummer. Thank gawd for my Mazda3.